THE SECRET OF SUCCESSFUL COMMUNICATION

Most times we shout that communication is important and we also cry that communication is hard.

Well, communication can be both but you can avoid the latter.

Communication as established is not just trying to talk, it means to be open and ready to listen.

It means telling that lady or guy

“Hey, I find you interesting can we be friends”.

“Hey you look great I want us to get to know ourselves” or

“Hey, it seems I am struggling to communicate with you how do we make it better, are you still interested in the friendship?

Looks awkward some might say but it helps you avoid unnecessary pressure trying to figure out if someone wants you in their life or not.

Let’s keep going.

The second thing I would love you to take note of is that you will never find communication easy until you learn how to be VULNERABLE.

The secret to stress-free communication is all about being vulnerable. You can’t build intimacy with walls.

Read that again.
You can’t build intimacy with walls.
It’s the opposite.

Every time we hear build this, build that, we think about putting a structure together to stand tall but the truth is that when it comes to true intimacy that builds solid communication, it’s about tearing down walls.

It’s only when you want to build communication that you will have to tear down walls that block you from seeing deep into your partner and this tearing down means you got to be vulnerable with each other.

No communication, no relationship will last if both parties don’t learn how to be vulnerable with each other.

What does it mean to be vulnerable? It means letting your guards down for the other person to see through you, to see your strengths, and to see all your weaknesses. To see how shy you are, to see how scared you are, to see how messed up you are. This is how deep connections are made.

If you have to pretend to be all strong and have things going for you when they are not then you might struggle with connection and communication with your partner.

If you have to act all strong always then you will hurt true intimacy in your friendship or relationship.

You will never feel free to talk about every and anything until you get to this point in your relationship or marriage where you can be so vulnerable and not be ashamed of it.

Communication thrives when both of you are naked and have nothing to hide. Communication becomes easy when you don’t feel shy to talk about the fact you wetted the bed till you are 15 and both of your laugh over it.

Vulnerability helps you connect deeply with each other and when you do, the communication problem becomes history.

So, yes communication can be hard only when you are not ready to put in the work to make it easy.

Communication is not about thinking about what you want. Communication is about saying what you want, how it’s paining you, or how it’s making you happy.

It’s about being unashamed to express your desire to your friend or partner.

I will say this again if mutual interest is absent in your relationship, it makes being vulnerable hard and it makes communication harder.

Think about it.

Cheers.

Life and Relationship Coach
Profit Eneh.